I had my last period by the end of September 2021. Afterwards, no more period. My husband and I decided to wait because we didn’t want to get our hopes too high. I guessed he wanted to spare my feelings too after our experience with the first pregnancy.

One day he came home from work and brought me a test pack. The next morning I tried it out. I wanted to be calm, whatever the result would be. I mean, I wanted to carry my own baby… but if that time still wasn’t the time, well I would try not to be disappointed. I waited anxiously for the line to show up.

One line. Two line.

Two line. I am pregnant. It was November, 3rd. Alhamdulillah ya Allah!

We informed Day, Dil and Dza about the news. The kids were happy about it.

“Nanti rumahnya tambah rame Mami! Aku ada temen mainnya,” ujar Dza.

“Wah, adikku nambah… Gimana ini bayangin ngaturnya aku punya tiga adik!” kata Dayyan.

“Wah, coba adik bayi yang dulu ada, nanti anaknya Mami jadi 5. Wah banyak!” celetuk Dil.

I am beyond grateful that the kids accepted the news happily. My husband and I then proceeded to explain the kids about the limitations. The matters that should be paid attention to while Mami is pregnant. The things about how the kids should mind their behaviour: less fighting, be more independent because Mami will require more rest, be cleaner and more neat, etc.

It was a very early stage of pregnancy and I was still undecided where I wanted to go for hospital check ups, we had our first ultrasound at a midwife nearby. It was November, 11 th. It felt like an early birthday present to me!

Day had an exam at school on November 18th. I had to pick him up at noon. Dil and Dza tagged along because they missed their school and wanted to see their school. I took them with me. I followed the kids walking around their school, including to the second and third floor. Too bad, I forgot that in my first pregnancy I got very sensitive and couldn’t do heavy work, that included going up and down the stairs. We went home, I had a shower and prayed dhuhur. I had cramps during my dhuhur prayer. There were some leaking and spots also. I immediately called my husband. He had a friend who was an obgyn. When he came home after work, he brought me a prescribed medicine named Duphastone. I was told to rest and not to do much activities.

We had our first visit to an obgyn in a hospital on November 25th. Yay! I was glad and relieved to finally see a doctor. She then gave me the same prescribed med, Duphastone and some folic acid supplements. There went the same instruction: I was not allowed to do heavy activities and that I should rest a lot. I should know my limitations.

I am beyond grateful and excited, yet also very thrilled. Pregnancy is an individual experience. You can share with fellow sisters, friends, or any women who’s been through it, exchanging tips and informations… all the technical aspects of pregnancy but the feelings, internal dialogue one have within herself is not the same.

I get to have a little friend who does everything with me, who accompanies me 24/7 for 9 months. He/She will share experiences with me: the things I ate, my feelings, etc. I do hope that my baby will grow well inside. I hope my baby will be happy and comfortable before finally settles into this world. Finally I can really have little human to call my own.