#3: Changes Happen

by | Jan 5, 2021 | Journal, Pregnancy & Baby | 0 comments


I am keeping this pregnancy journal series as written memories of what I experience throughout my pregnancy. This journal will be something to look back to fondly, with lessons learned and also something my children can read about later since Day, Dil and Dza already know how to access my blog page anyway. 

People said when you’re pregnant, things will change: physically and emotionally. Truth be told, I had a hard time trying to have some empathy toward my pregnant friends back then. No, not that I am a cold hearted person, it’s just… hard because I can’t visualize it. Now that I am already pregnant myself, albeit in such an early stage, the understanding starts to unfold. 

Fatigue and cramps on lower abdomen (like the one you experience right before period starts) are the two main things that I experience during this early stage. I can neither stand up nor walk to and fro for too long without having cramps. I don’t even go outside, my walking route consists of bedroom – dining room – tv area – kitchen. I don’t do household chores anymore (YES!). I also have stopped walking up and down the stairs ever since I found out that I am pregnant. Whenever my Mom-in-law want to talk, she’s the one visiting me upstairs. My commute to the kitchen has been very limited, now that my husband help me out on the dishes even more. Sunday cooking in the kitchen, which was a usual activity, becomes an activity that I drag. I cook only simple dishes on Sundays, usually it takes me an hour or two. I don’t really bake cakes anymore since standing up is painful and exhausting. I sweat as if I have finished an exercise whenever I cook and I get spots. My obgyn prescribed me progestin medication to help out with the spots and pregnancy. I can’t go from one activity to another, even the simplest one like performing sholat, without having a break and lay down on the bed. It exhausts me that much and I get cramps a lot. Doing ruku’ and sujud during sholat cramps me sometimes that I have to perform sholat sitting on a chair.

I sweat only on one certain area, and it strangely happens when the temperature is cool. I am in my bedroom with my AC on low temperature yet I sweat on that certain part. Hahaha. I find this one very funny. Talking about sweat and temperature, I sleep with AC on, put it on relatively cold temperature because normally I can’t stand the heat, yet… I still feel like the temperature is too hot. I don’t sweat but it feels like… ungkep. Very ungkep that I have to sleep with very light clothing. Yeah, I don’t know how to explain it in English! Sorry! It feels like I’m trapped in a box with no air circulation. On the other side, my husband feels cold (as it should be) and he sometimes laugh at my antic.

“It’s your pregnancy hormones,” he said.

But one time. ONE TIME ONLY, I felt extremely cold that I took all the comforter and left my husband with nothing. I even had to ask him to hug me because he felt warm. Yeah that happened only once… I was back into feeling ungkep again the next day! Hahaha.

Cravings are the one change I enjoy most. I eat more fruits, as I should (which I enjoy!): sliced or juiced avocados with chocolate condensed milk (pardon me with that OK… I know condensed milk isn’t the healthiest choice but it is obviously better than my usual coffee syrup, righttt?), apples and bananas are my favorite. I even had my Mom sent me 2 kgs of avocados, which I ate up delightly. I eat steamed veggies for snacks, without dressing: carrots, spinach and sometimes baby corn. Why not with the dressing? Because salad dressing consists of raw egg yolk and I’m too lazy to cook up my own dressing. I eat proteins about 3-4 times a week: eggs (mostly sunny sided with rice or toast), ayam kampung/free-range chicken, and fishes (my favorite that Dil hates so much! Hihihi). Jajan pasar especially nogosari  is the bomb. Once, I asked my Mom to buy me one, she sent me a dozen of nogosari, and I ate half of them. Hehehe. Bon Ami’s  kroket ayam jamur is another thing. It is one of my favorite snack, besides nogosari, pies, bakpao, grilled banana and long-john cheese bread. Yup, I am a skinny girl with a healthy appetite, please don’t judge! One day, after lots of postponing and consideration, I decided to order it and have it delivered. I bought a dozen and I think I eat 4 of them. Sorry… really can’t help it! *wink* Ohhh… I almost forgot! Magnum ice cream is also one food that I am craving about. One afternoon, Bibi bought me Magnum at Chicco and then my husband came home in the evening also bought me a Magnum. Lucky me! Hehehe.

Milk, is my favorite drink aside from water. I drink lots of water and milk. Greenfields, Diamond and Cimory coffee flavored pasteurised milk are my favorites. I drink Hi-Lo vanilla milk and sometimes add it with a biiiiiit of Nescafe Original or coffee syrup to give a hint of coffee flavoring. Luckily, pregnancy milk is heavenly delicious. I drink Prenagen and they have a variety of taste: strawberry, mung beans, chocolate and off course the holy grail mocca flavor! Strawberry and mocca are instantly my favorite. I love dipping my loaf of bread in the mocca milk, yummy!

From December to the first week of January I gained +/- 2 kgs of weight. Hmmm… I wonder if that’s normal. My baby is still very tiny yet I’m a bit bumpy already. Did I eat too much food? I heard people say that skinny girl especially during first pregnancy won’t show up much until the third trimester. I guess we’ll see about it!

I get really drowsy. I fall asleep at 10.00 a.m. only to wake up at lunch time and already getting ready for bed at 7.00 p.m. It gets even worse on weekends when the kids have no online school and I’m free from chaperoning duty! Some of my friends once called me pelor a.k.a. nempel molor. I could even easily fall asleep in a car, but this time it’s a whole new kind of being sleepy. I pee, a lot more! Normally, I drink lots of water. I have a one-litre water bottle that I refill 2-3 times a day, and a glass on my dining table that I also use for drinking. Since I’m pregnant, it doubled.. or tripled, I guess! 

I have atopic dermatitis. My hands get dry, itchy and cracking. Sometimes they even bleed that I have stocks of band-aid in my drawer and handbags. Apart from Dexomethasone ointment, my dermatologist has given and taught me to use lotion for very dry skin, and I have used several brands throughout the years according to his recommendation: ROC Enydrial, Cetaphil Restoraderm, Bioderma Atoderm and Noroid Lotion. Lately I’ve been using the latter since it’s the most affordable one. I can use up 1 bottle each month alongside general hand cream or lotion such as The Body Shop body butter, The Bath Box and Vaseline Advanced Strength. I also use Bio Oil to add some moisture to my skin. At one evening, I had a terrible stomachache that last for three days. I couldn’t eat much and laying down was the most comfortable position. To disguise the pain, I rubbed Vicks Vaporub on my belly. Tried a couple of time but it didn’t work, so I had a brilliant idea: I rubbed Balpirik Merah! A lot!! It worked like magic in a way that it warmed my belly therefor the ache was disguised. A day later, the entire skin area on my belly was inflamed and very very itchy I almost cry. I slept without covering on my belly and my husband put ice-bag on my belly to soothe the itch. Eventually I gave up and I used the Dexomethasone ointment veryyy lightlyyy on my belly twice after shower, just to reduce the inflammation and soothe the terrible itch. It was a steroid ointment so I had to be careful eventhough my Obgyn has told me that a light use of Dexomethasone is not gonna harm the baby. Like I said, I only used the Dexomethasone twice and then continue to use rubbing my belly with Bio Oil and Noroid Lotion. It was a slow progress, one I must bear. I showered 3-4 times a day since apparently that Balpirik incident increased the sensitivity of my atopic dermatitis-prone skin. A little bit of sweat got me very itchy, I must shower to make the itch go away! So yeah, I guess I won’t need the heavily marketed pregnancy anti stretch mark lotions, I just have to use Noroid Lotion and Bio Oil.

All in all, it is a whole new experience for me. One that I go through with wonder, “Wow, I don’t know that I can feel this… or do that…!” 

My husband often reminds me to embrace the experience be grateful.

I don’t want to let go of this beautiful feeling (although sometimes it pains me when the kids are acting up during the day) but I know one day this baby will be born and the feeling, wonder and experience will no longer be. It will be a part of my many memories. One that I will always treasure and cherish.

Life really goes on.

Written by Anty

A CR Girl turned stay at home Mom of 3 kids. Missus Heroine is the place where I share my thoughts and journey adapting into my new roles as well as many other things. Here I am, in a journey of becoming the Heroine I want myself to be.

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